Tuesday, June 28, 2011

FAMILY....how do you define it?

What does family mean to you?  How often do you get together with family?  This is such a broad topic to discuss but tonight made me think about it.  I come from a large family where grandma had 8 children...so I grew up with lots of aunts, uncles and cousins....there was always parties, dinners, holidays together and of course fights....but through it all we were family and the good times outweighed the bad.  But one of the most important thing I remember was that grandma held it all together.....and when she passed, it all fell apart.

As a mother of five and grandma of six (soon to be seven) I am trying to hold it all together.  But I am not having much luck.  While I grew up with everyone not only living in the same neighborhood, but also the same block.....today's children move away.  I am not complaining....away for me just means the next neighborhood....a short drive away....I am lucky.  The furthest is about an hour to an hour and a half, depending on traffic.  So I am blessed that way.....

My problem is getting everyone together.....young people these days have their own agenda and I respect that.....but we used to drop everything when a family gathering came up.  And it just ain't so anymore.  I know I should go with the flow and I know these are changing times....but when I think about how much longer I may have....I just want to keep the family close to me.....

I am happy they all have their own lives, they are doing so well, that they dont need me every minute....but there is a bit of empty nest syndrome somewhere in there.  I love the freedom i have now to pick up and go whereever with hubby......but there is a part of me that needs them to want to be with me....I know there are grandmas out there...How are you coping?


  1. This was a lovely & emotional post, for so many reasons. I love it when bloggers write both personal and thought provoking posts. My grandma just died in April and my family is quite 'fragile' I guess. But it was wonderful to get together with all the extended family - it's weddings and funerals that get families together isn't it! I wish I had closer family - closer in the geographic sense! My mum grieves that she doesn't get to see her grandchildren more, as she enjoys them so much more than she did her own children (she says it's pure love with out the stresses of parenthood) Yet I can't help but wonder if we all lived closer whether we would appreciate the few get togethers we do have as much as we all value and cherish them now! So maybe, how much time you spend together is not a reflection on how much family means & how much they value each other. Or maybe, you've done such a great job in raising a contented self sufficient family, they don't actually realise how lucky they are to have each other as they don't know any different and know it will always be a safe place (take it for granted). Well, I think family can be so many things... you have got me thinking... leave it with me a few weeks and I'll probably do a blog post on it too! And maybe this is your time to learn to enjoy your own presence and just to be still. And look forward to when you all get to catch up and be 'family' again. Jane:)

  2. I don't have grandkids yet, but my kids live in California and we live in Alaska. We see them a couple times a year and email all the time. It works out well; after all, we left our immediate families when we left the midwest 30 years ago for a life in Alaska, and wouldn't trade it for anything. We love it here, have lots of friends, and a very tight knit neighborhood with young families. There are trade-offs.
    Enjoy your blog; would you mind a Follow on my Networked Blog? Thanks!